First off, I really really really hate sestinas. I had to write one last semester and it was a nightmare. Needless to say, I wasn't not looking forward to this writing this one. The crazy thing is even though it pushed me to the brink of insanity both times, I actually kind of like what I came up with. In my older one I played around with imagery for the most part but with this one I decided to make it more story-like. Probably the most interesting thing I did with this one was play around with different variations of my end words. I also had a lot more line breaks than in the previous one.
Vegas Sestina
A few miles from the infamous sign we got a flat tire.
Our hearts sunk being so close to paradise
yet still so far away. Personally I wanted to lie in the sand
soaking up the sun. Sadly I was outvoted and forced to pile
into Erica’s cramped, crappy car lured by the promise of lobster and steak.
The desert heat caused me to sweat through my purple
sundress and left me sticking to leather seats, also purple.
I looked liked I was a part of the car’s interior. If it weren’t for that tire
we’d be there already. After all a lot was at stake
with it being my 21st birthday. I didn’t care about paradise
anymore; all I really wanted was a shower, allergy pill
and to wash my mangled sandy
brown hair. I daydreamed of palm trees, sand,
and surfing the pipeline under the lazy orange and purple
sunset while Erica dug through the pile
of crap in her glove compartment for her AAA card. I grew tired
and impatient while we waited. She said I’d forget it all once a pair of dice
was in my hands. I knew this trip was a mistake.
We eventually checked into our hotel and dined on steak
and downed champagne. Erica hit the blackjack table sans
me and Tayler because we wanted to try our luck with the slots. I found paradise
there and didn’t want to leave. My fortune increased more and more per pull
of the lever. A few hours later Erica wanted to retire
to our room. I didn’t mind because I wanted to count my pile.
I awoke the next morning to find Erica piling
hotel soaps and shampoos into her bag. I asked if she’d stuck bits of steak
from last night’s dinner in there too. In the elevator Tayler asked me to tie her
shoe. I was glad I’d decided to wear sandals.
At the spa we got manis and pedis. I chose purple
polish. I had to admit it was starting to feel like paradise.
On our last day in Vegas, Erica practically had to rip the pair of dice
from my fingertips. At the gift shop I bought a pile
of postcards to send back home. I had so much fun I didn’t mind the purple
leather sticking to my skin on the ride back. The only mistake
I’d made was not coming sooner. The beach and sand
would have to wait even longer. I planned on coming to Vegas to retire.
If you ever tire of the tempting ocean try Vegas, its paradise.
Sure there’s no sand or cute surfer boys but you could win cash by the pile.
Eat shrimp cocktail and steak then dance the night away under neon purple lights.
After reading it through again, I definitely think my envoi needs some fine tuning. It doesn't feel strong enough to end the poem. I liked playing around with the long lines. It's going to take a lot more practice for me to get one down that has shorter lines. Who knows? Maybe I'll write another one sometime in the very distant future!
Friday, February 26, 2010
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I really enjoyed your sestina this week. I liked how it told a story. I also liked how well the story was told, I felt as though I was on this trip myself. I liked the humor you threw in there, it kept me interested. I like the ending just fine and I hope you decide to write another. Good job Brittany. Congrats on overcoming the dreaded sesitna.
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